Thursday, July 28, 2011

A new day...

***(This blog was written on 7/12 but never got posted...so here it is!)***

Wow. It's been a while. I had no idea it had been so long since I've blogged.

Alot has been going on! I'm dealing alot better with the loss of Dad. I still have many moments when I just lose it but overall it's gotten MUCH better. We've had several events lately (Mom and Dad's 47 wedding anniversary, Father's Day then what would've been Dad's 70th birthday) and those have been hard. I came across some pictures of Dad's grave as it looks now. It was so hard to look at. Just red clay with some grass growing in. It's so hard (SO HARD) for me to think about it. I'd rather just push it to the back of my head and envelope myself in the daily grind that is our life. But I know that's not what I should be doing but it's so much easier. Mom and I ordered Dad's headstone the other day and that was incredibly sobering. I had to give the company Dad's date of birth and date of death. It literally took me a minute to process that. It's still hard to believe he's gone. I am blessed with great friends yet most of the time I feel totally alone in this. I have a good friend that lost her mother a year and a half ago and we got together a couple weeks ago and unintentionally ended up having a mini grief session. It was so nice. That's what I need. I need people that know what I'm going through to understand and know what to say. It's not that I don't need others as well but it's so nice when someone knows exactly what I'm going through. We might have to schedule more of those :)

On a more positive note, the twins will be one in just 1 week! Can you believe it? We SURVIVED the first year! YEAH! We will be celebrating with a grill out at our place on the 23rd! We're having a bounce house and all! Our theme is "2 peas in a pod" so everything will be based around that :)

Love,
E

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