These past few weeks have been really rough on me. I've had struggles in just about all aspects of my life.
I feel like since the twins were born I have become a whole different person. And not necessarily a good one. I'm stressed now. I'm frustrated now (things aren't done the way the way I was used to). I'm angry. My babies are growing up so fast and I feel like I'm missing it. Alex will be starting kindergarden in just a couple of weeks and the twins just turned 1!
Some of you know (because I love you and depend on your support) that I've been having trouble at work. I've narrowed the "issues" I've been having down to April. My first slip up came March 30th then the rest of them all occurred after April 8th. The day my Dad died. I feel a little better every day (it seems) about Dad's death but I truly believe that down deep I'm not anywhere near where I need to be.
Well, that's all for now...
Love,
E
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
July 2011
July was a BUSY month for us! We had SO much going on! Here are just a few snapshots from our adventures!
June 2011
June was actually alot more calm...
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| Our little graduate and Daddy! |
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| Alex and his best friend Nate! |
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| His party pool Nana gave him for graduation! |
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| Just some twinky time : ) |
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| Doesn't he look innocent? |
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| Nana's new playset for her backyard! |
May 2011
For some reason all of my blogs seem to start with the same sentence. It's been a while :)
Let's see what's happened since our last posts...
May was a busy month of fun!
Let's see what's happened since our last posts...
May was a busy month of fun!
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| Yummo blueberry pancakes at The Readyville Mill! |
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| Flirting her way to someone else's food! |
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| Alex's waterslide at his 5th birthday! |
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| The "Mommy Zone" |
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| Uncle J.J. has the special touch :) |
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| I see teeth! |
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| I finally did it :) |
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| 1 tooth down! |
A new day...
***(This blog was written on 7/12 but never got posted...so here it is!)***
Wow. It's been a while. I had no idea it had been so long since I've blogged.
Alot has been going on! I'm dealing alot better with the loss of Dad. I still have many moments when I just lose it but overall it's gotten MUCH better. We've had several events lately (Mom and Dad's 47 wedding anniversary, Father's Day then what would've been Dad's 70th birthday) and those have been hard. I came across some pictures of Dad's grave as it looks now. It was so hard to look at. Just red clay with some grass growing in. It's so hard (SO HARD) for me to think about it. I'd rather just push it to the back of my head and envelope myself in the daily grind that is our life. But I know that's not what I should be doing but it's so much easier. Mom and I ordered Dad's headstone the other day and that was incredibly sobering. I had to give the company Dad's date of birth and date of death. It literally took me a minute to process that. It's still hard to believe he's gone. I am blessed with great friends yet most of the time I feel totally alone in this. I have a good friend that lost her mother a year and a half ago and we got together a couple weeks ago and unintentionally ended up having a mini grief session. It was so nice. That's what I need. I need people that know what I'm going through to understand and know what to say. It's not that I don't need others as well but it's so nice when someone knows exactly what I'm going through. We might have to schedule more of those :)
On a more positive note, the twins will be one in just 1 week! Can you believe it? We SURVIVED the first year! YEAH! We will be celebrating with a grill out at our place on the 23rd! We're having a bounce house and all! Our theme is "2 peas in a pod" so everything will be based around that :)
Love,
E
Wow. It's been a while. I had no idea it had been so long since I've blogged.
Alot has been going on! I'm dealing alot better with the loss of Dad. I still have many moments when I just lose it but overall it's gotten MUCH better. We've had several events lately (Mom and Dad's 47 wedding anniversary, Father's Day then what would've been Dad's 70th birthday) and those have been hard. I came across some pictures of Dad's grave as it looks now. It was so hard to look at. Just red clay with some grass growing in. It's so hard (SO HARD) for me to think about it. I'd rather just push it to the back of my head and envelope myself in the daily grind that is our life. But I know that's not what I should be doing but it's so much easier. Mom and I ordered Dad's headstone the other day and that was incredibly sobering. I had to give the company Dad's date of birth and date of death. It literally took me a minute to process that. It's still hard to believe he's gone. I am blessed with great friends yet most of the time I feel totally alone in this. I have a good friend that lost her mother a year and a half ago and we got together a couple weeks ago and unintentionally ended up having a mini grief session. It was so nice. That's what I need. I need people that know what I'm going through to understand and know what to say. It's not that I don't need others as well but it's so nice when someone knows exactly what I'm going through. We might have to schedule more of those :)
On a more positive note, the twins will be one in just 1 week! Can you believe it? We SURVIVED the first year! YEAH! We will be celebrating with a grill out at our place on the 23rd! We're having a bounce house and all! Our theme is "2 peas in a pod" so everything will be based around that :)
Love,
E
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